Who Am I?

Have you ever wondered "Who Am I?" I have, at night, when I can't sleep. Or when I am stuck at the station during post academy days, they cage my physical body but they can't trap my mind. I allow it to wander freely and hope it comes back to me. Today my mind stumbled upon the question of "Who am I." It's been bouncing around in my head ever since I was a child and was taught the song "I am a child of God." Well that's great. But there has got to be more to it than that. I am made up of so many things. The values and morals my parents taught me. The strategies and tactics sports taught me. The ethics learned in making life's many decisions. The yin and yang, my good and bad. There is a darkness in each of us, and if you think there is not then you run a great risk of letting it loose. Our job is to contain it. Each day we are confronted with choices, those choices decide who you are and will become. What you choose everyday sways you one way or another. You are never just you, you are always changing. Becoming something new, be it good or bad. You have to constantly be aware of every choice you make, lest you find yourself someone you would rather not be.

With my mind free to probe the depths of who I am I decided to start with some basics. A little study of etymology and onomatology. Andrew means; manly, brave, courageous. Andrew was also the first apostle chosen. While Legion is not typically given as a name it is used as a military or semi military unit trained for combat. It can mean a large number or a multitude. Lange from the English origin means long and from the Dutch origin means tall. There are 17 letters, 7 vowels and 10 consonants, in my full name. Oddly there are also 17 letters, 7 vowels and 10 consonants, in my wife's full name. (A perfect match) But my name is not who I am.

So I start to really think. Am I who I really want to be? Am I even headed in the right direction? If I haven't learned who I am, how am I supposed to show a child who they should be? When the time comes can I be the parent I hope to be? Will that time ever come? I have learned a lot with this new job. So much of it so very important to just survive in the environment I am immersed in everyday. This experience has given me an opportunity to grow and expand. To find out so much about myself. Being pushed to the limits, to the edge, allows you to look down inside your soul and see the real you. And for now I am glad for who I am. And I realize that who I am isn't just me at all, its my wife, my family, my friends. Without them I am nothing, no one. When I look deep inside I see you. I am so thankful for you all. So I stop thinking of Who Am I, and I start thinking, who are you? Because you, you are everything to me.

I love you all.